Existing?

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Image: http://honolulu.hawaii.edu

Are you living? Or, are you just existing? I find myself asking these two questions lately, every day in my short life that I watch go by I find myself asking these two questions even more. The more I think about it, it;s the more I lean to saying yes to the latter. I do feel like I am just existing, not truly living. Maybe it's the unemployment getting to me, maybe I am realizing that I am getting older. I don't know, but I can help feeling that way these days. Even though still being unemployed for six months now is getting to me, that cannot be the reason for me asking myself these questions and drawing closer to the answer of just merely existing.

At the moment I find that there a few things that I do enjoy as each day passes by. Don't get me wrong, everyday I wake up and I am able to get up out that bed I am thankful! God knows I am thankful for living to see another day, especially with all these disasters and the ever increasing crime wave claiming so many lives. But I just can't shake the feeling that I am not truly living, not truly experiencing what life has to offer, the many possibilities. It seems that my days are so transient, they pass by without me really feeling like I have accomplished something meaningful, nor do I feel like I enjoyed the day. I can still count on one hand the times I have said, "today was a good day" lately.

This feeling is not just confined to my present demise, no it extends way beyond that, to I time i have no control over anymore. I look back at my life, the brief twenty-nuff and I don't feel I have lived life as much as I should have. I don't want to sound ungrateful, as I am grateful for the milestones that I have passed. However, I just feel like I have not accomplished all that I should have. I feel like I have not had as much fun as I should have. Sometimes, it seems that I have just existed for the past twenty nine years, just merely going through the motions of each passing day.

But what is it to really and truly live? I don't think I know yet, maybe this is living, maybe it's not. I don't know, as I don't feel like I have truly lived, I am still wanting, still wanting more, more accomplishments, more fun, more... more living. I have heard many people speak of the experiences in life, the many things the accomplished, the many places they have gone, the many people they have met, the many wondrous things they have seen. Yet, my perception of my life, is simply dwarfed by what I hear being related to me by these persons who seem to be living life.

I don't know if all I just typed make any sense, maybe it's just a bunch of senseless ramblings. I might see this sometime in the future and wonder what kind of crap of a post this is. But until then, I do feel like I am just existing, yet giving thanks for every day I am blessed with. Maybe it's me, maybe I am the roadblock in the way of me truly living...

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So Scarce... Where is My Mojo? Where is Stunner?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Wow, my posting here has been scarcer than the rain in Jamaica! Well, maybe not as scarce as rain here, considering that the rainy month of October passed without any rain worth mentioning! It seems I have lost my Blogging Mojo, because I have been here so infrequently and the same can be said about me visiting blogs. is it that I have lost that drive to blog and keep up with the posts of other bloggers? Or is it really that I lost my Blogging Mojo and need to find it back? Or maybe it is Twitter to be blamed since I am almost always tweeting away? Well whatever the reason, I hope I can start posting here more frequently. So what has been happening in the Stunner's life?


Well, I wish I could say I am happily employed in a job a love and enjoy and being well compensated for my hard work. But alas, that's just a figment of my imagination as I don't even have a miserable job that can barely pay the bills. Yes my friends, I am still unemployed, still combing the Gleaner for job ads, still sending out applications one after the other, still unemployed and looking. Hopefully I will find something soon, and the searching goes on.

My photography

On a lighter note though, I am still toying with my hobby, photography, and trying to improve my skills in hopes of making some decent money from it. In fact, I have had a few gigs, the money isn't much to talk about, but it can pay a one bill here and there. In fact I have one to work on right now, but this damn place to damn hot to do anything that requires moving from in front the fan for even a second! If you are interested you can check it out here http://www.flickr.com/photos/stunnerj/. Maybe you'll see a photo you like and order a print from me, or like my portraits and hire me for a shoot, right, right, right...

YS Falls St. Elizabeth

My girlfriend was here for a few weeks and that kept me busy, no not in the bed, behind the steering wheel as we were on the road quite often. And I found myself traveling from St. Elizabeth in one end of the island to Portland on the other side of Jamaica. I didn't mind it though, it was great to spend some time and also to get out of this damn hot house and enjoy a bit of Jamaica. I finally made it to YS Falls after being disappointed on so many occasions before. I actually wanted to see this attraction for over four years now and never made it. So getting to go there and see it first hand was a wonderful experience for me. However there is more traveling in store, as this weekend will be the monthly flickr group photography trip and I am looking forward to that!

That's just about it in a nutshell, nothing super exiting and dramatic. Hopefully I will drop a decent post soon and get back that mojo! Come on mojo, you can do it come on...

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Quick Update with an Eye-Candy for Dessert

Friday, May 15, 2009

Wait! Don't call the police and file any missing person report! I am still around, very busy, but still hanging in there. I have a series of meetings since last week, combining that with gym, I basically only have a few hours to eat and sleep for the entire week. Today is the last day, thank God, as I am tired of fighting the sleep for hours during these all day meetings. On the plus side the finger food was good. as well as the ample supply of juices, fruits and the much needed coffee.

On a different note, my car is looking like new again. The damaged area that was repaired and sprayed was finally buffed today. But that wasn't all, I decided to get the entire care buffed so it would have an even shiny new look. And it did look brand new this evening when I went to pick it up. The entire car was buffed and polished and looks shiny like a car in one of those magazines. Yay!

I haven't posed one of these in a while, so I think I'm going to drop an eye-candy for my fellow male bloggers for the weekend. Don't worry ladies, I'm still working on yours for the summer [wink, wink]. This eye-candy has appeared in Flavor of Love and is the reason why I actually wasted time watching I Love Money 2. Presenting the ever sexy Myammee!

Have a great weekend!!!

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Vibes, Festival & Lots of Carnival Photos!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

On Saturday I found myself at Mello Vibes, a party that fuses the best music of the past for your listening and dancing pleasure. It does not matter which decade is your favorite, Mello vibes covered them all. The music ranged from as far back as the 1950's up to the early 2000's. The vibe was right and the music selection kept the patrons dancing up a storm all night long. I arrived at approximately 12:30am and the music kept people moving until I left at approximately 4:00am. It wasn't only the music and the vibe that was right as this party was easy on my pocket, especially in these challenging economic and tax burdened times. At a pre-sold price of $JM600 (just over US$6.00) pre-sold and JM$800 at the gate, you can't ask for more!

On Sunday I was off to the Liguanea Festival of Fine Arts and Photography to view some of Jamaica's creative works done by some of the countries top artists. The art festival showcased paintings, drawings, sculptures, portraits, ceramics, jewellery and, of most interest to me, photography. There were a lot of creative works on display at the festival, and just reiterates how much talent is here in our little island. I spent most of my time, as expected, in the Photography booths where I as humbled by the many photography exhibitions that were on show. It has shown me how much more I have to learn in this art and has even encouraged me to continue in my hobby and hopefully soon to be additional source of income. I was also fortunate to meet a few members of the Flickr group I recently joined, the Jamaica, West Indies photo group. I am hoping to go on the photo trips that they regularly have, not only to learn from these more experienced photographers, but also to take a lot of photos as well as visit the many beautiful places in Jamaica.

As promised in my recent post, I have mustered up the energy and have uploaded the over 700 photographs I took at last Sunday's Bacchanal Carnival Road March. It took my quite a while to upload all these photographs, but I eventually completed the process on Sunday night... shhh, while at work [whispers softly]. I have also added a small post about the Carnival season on my, very neglected travel blog, Mek A Trod. However, I will be posting about more attractions this week and will make an effort to update the blog more often. Also, I will soon be inviting you guys to guest post on the blog about the local attractions, eateries and events that you have visited. So without further deliberation, click here for the pics.

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Bits & Pieces

Friday, April 17, 2009

Isn't it just scary how quick the week has gone by? Damn, I know I have said something similar quite a few times before, but it just amazes me... or should I say scare me how time is just jetting by! So what has been going on in the life of Stunner for this week and what are the plans for the weekend?

I woke up on Thursday morning to overcast skies, but I didn't get my hopes up for that thing... uh, what's the name again... oh yes, rain! See, it has been so long since we got a good shower of rain here in Kingston, as it has been sunny, dry and windy. By mid afternoon as I was about to step through the door i heard a vaguely familiar sound, it was rain! It sounded so good as it hit the many surfaces in it's path and that smell of the warm, dry ground being quenched by the rain drops was so refreshing. It didn't fall very hard or for very long, but we got a good shower for a decent few hours. this was just enough to drop the temperature a little and keep down the angry raging dust that masked every conceivable surface as it danced in the wind. It has all gone by now though, but it was good to finally see a shower after such a long time. I am hoping for some more rain...not every day though... and not this Sunday!

I finally got my UV filter for my camera, which I purchased on Amazon and shipped to Jamaica via Global Couriers. Now I can feel a whole lot more comfortable using my camera as I don't have to worry about my lens getting scratched. Also the UV filter is supposed to protect my lens from UV rays as well as enhance the quality of the photos. I also collected my lens pen and micro cleaning cloth which I ordered along with the filter. Damn dutty, teifing customs pissed me off though, as the charged me fees and duties summing up to almost a half of the price of the items I purchased! Danville yuh a gwaan bad star! No wonder why people try to evade customs duties, they are too damn high! On another note, I have splurged... yes I have purchased the zoom lens (55-200mm) as I really need the zoom capability to get the shots I want. I got it on Amazon for just over US$20o. Unfortunately it is being delivered to my sister's place and I will have to wait until someone is coming down from New York to "smuggle" it in for me. No star, mi cyaan pay Danvil;e 47% in custom fees, that's almost US$100! So Next on the list is a bigger camera bag and a speed light! Donations anyone?

This weekend is the culmination of the Carnival season, the grand Finale! Jokers Wild, Jouvert, the great paint-up-paint-up weekend and then finally the road march! Unfortunately due to embarrassing financial constraints and lack of familiar company (my usual paring brethren), Jouvert will not be seeing my face... if it was I wouldn't be typing this post... [pouting]. No doubt I will hear how wonderful it was and I will see all the raunchy pictures... [sigh]. Nevertheless, I am thinking of going to the Water Party after work tomorrow night, so if that works out I should have some fun. Sunday, however, is the big day for me, yes it's the road march. Why am I so looking forward to it? No. I'm not jumping in costume with the bands, behind the big truck! I will be heading to the road march though, yes to test out my new Nikon D60 DSLR with the newly acquired UV filter! I was hoping to have the zoom lens for this occasion, but that will not be. So I will have to make do with what I have, hopefully I will still manage to get some good shots!

Anyway people, I went to gym this evening and as a result the sleep has crept in. So even though I just saw that CSI Miami is on and I could amuse myself with Caruso's over dramatic one liners, my bed seems more enticing at this moment. Further more the sleep will spare me the torture of being home while Jouvert is entertaining countless hot girls... I mean people.

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