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Showing posts with label Pests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pests. Show all posts

Rat-aliation! (I Smell A Rat II)

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


Flashback to a couple posts ago, when I wrote about the rodent invasion I suffered on my back balcony and my subsequent defensive measures. Well, I thought I was succeeding in my fight against the killer rats that were creating havoc on my balcony. Well I was wrong!

A few days ago, I went out to throw some clothes in my washing machine that is located on the said porch as I had a few items I wanted to wash. In they went in the machine, the soap and the machine began to thrash out the dirt. A few minutes later i noticed I didn't hear the familiar hum of the agitator. "That's strange, the clothes cyaan done wash already!", I said to myself. So I went out to investigate, only to notice that the machine had stopped in the "rinse" cycle. As much as I tried I could not get the machine to start! Could it be a belt, could it be a switch ore worse, could it be the motor. However, immediately I suspected my enemy the Rats! Those bastards must have found a way to get back at me for the rat poison, and sabotaging my washing machine was their plan. Immediately I started feeling the effects of not having my washing machine, as I had to wring out my clothes with my hand and within a few days my dirty clothes started to pile up. So I had to call Courts to get a recommended service technician and scheduled an appointment for this morning.

The service technician came this morning and yes, I was right! It was those despicable, disgusting, dutty stinking bastards! When he removed the shell of the machine, rat feces was everywhere all over the floor where the washing machine stood. There was also one type of rat poison, the blue one. It seems they knew the blue one was poison, as the ate the other one and carried the blue one under my washing machine and mixed it with their feces in an act of spiteful defiance! And worse of all they decided to make me pay and defecated all over on of the switches that controlled the motor and rendered it useless. Those bastard! I can hear them sing their sweet revenge as the look along from the shadows at my plight!

The repairs set me back $5000 (~US$ 70)! Oh the humanity! [Stunner hold his head in grief] Those dutty stinking varmints! [Stunner face changes to that of a man crazed by rage] It was actually $5400, but the service technician gave me a discount, not because of my suffering, but only because he didn't have any change. But those damn rats just put a serious dent in my weak pocket and pissed me off even more! But the war is not over, they have only strengthen my resolve. Now I will not only set poison behind my balcony, but even at the garbage receptacles where they seem to congregate to hatch their evil plots and at the foot of trees! No more will I buy the blue one that they know, but with that $400 I got back I will buy the other one that they gobbled up leaving no trace. Heck, I may even buy one of those old time traps that snaps down on the necks just to get the satisfaction of watching the bastard/s suffer a slow, painful, antagonizing death! The stakes are now even higher, the attacks have become even more personal, this is only the beginning of their pangs of distress, they will learn to fear The Stunner!!!!!!
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I Smell A Rat!!!

Friday, February 22, 2008


Literally! A gigantic killer rat has taken over my back porch! I was rudely awaken to the scent of ran excrement and the sight of rat feces all over my pack porch earlier this week when I was going to do some laundry. How dear this disease riddled criminal! As if invading my personal space without notice, this varmint has taken it upon itself to violate my residence with his filth! So you know Stunner will have none of that! This means war!

So off I went later in the day to arm myself for the war to protect my life and property from this reckless invader. I went to the supermarket and searched for the pest and insecticide isle where I picked my ammunition: Rat Glue Trap and some Farco Rat poison. Now it was time to set my traps and bait that little bugger! And so I did, rat poison and one glue trap, before retiring to bed within the confines of my base camp, AKA bedroom. The following morning I went out to see if I had been victorious! When I opened the door their was no sign of my glue trap and only a few crumbs of the rat poison was left! But there were still new feces all over my porch. So I decided I had to clean off my porch for health reason and for my own sanity. As I moved the washing machine, more feces was revealed and so was the missing glue trap, but not rat! Damn it!

Well, it was back to the gun store...I mean supermarket to stock up on some more rat poison, as obviously this rat is smart enough to break free of the glue trap. This time I didn't only buy Farco, but another brand. Yes two different types of poison in assorted flavours! This will definitely do some damage. So off I went back to the battle ground to set my traps. But this time I was ambushed, yes lay waited by the enemy! As I was tending to my plants that I had just outside the back porch I was attacked! That damn rat jumped out at me in ninja style! Well not exactly with marshal arts wielding a sword but that bugger ran over my foot! Oh so now the stakes are higher, this is a matter of honour!

So with even more determination I set my two flavours of rat poison side by side in strategic locations on my porch as well as the location from which the enemy lay waited me. I also set the last glue trap that I had in hopes of catching that bastard. The following morning I woke up to see the trap missing again and also two of the containers of rat poised devoured and also no feces. It seemed like my plan was working! But later that evening I saw that little varmint running past my porch like a soldier fleeing from an assault and also discovered the other glue trap abandoned outside.

I decided to leave the rest of the poison out on the porch and by yesterday morning all had been devoured, so maybe my plan is working. The directions on the rat poison said I should continue to use it until feeding stops, so since I am out I will have to restock and set more baits until. Hopefully I'll be victorious in my war to protect my property from this invader, or maybe it is not just one, but an army! Nevertheless, Stunner won't surrender, but will continue the fight and eradicate my porch from the enemy! The battle continues!!!
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